Marina Sarris

Date Published: June 17, 2025

Autistic students are less likely than their peers to receive sex education at school. Some advocates and researchers say that this disconnect can put them at higher risk for sexual abuse and affect their ability to form healthy relationships in adulthood.

In a national survey of autistic teenagers, only 47 percent reported getting sex education in school, compared to 59 percent of students without disabilities.¹ Autistic students who could not answer the questions for themselves were not included in this survey. Researchers believe that these students are even less likely to receive sex education, perhaps because schools are not convinced of the need for it or because lessons would need to be modified for them.

Sex education at school helps prevent child sexual abuse and dating violence and promotes healthy relationships, according to researchers who reviewed 30 years of studies.²

“Knowing what is inappropriate and appropriate is the foundation of abuse prevention. All children need that, not just kids with disabilities. But kids with disabilities are at especially high risk of abuse, and it’s important for them to learn this,” explains Laura Graham Holmes, Ph.D., assistant professor at CUNY Hunter College Silberman School of Social Work.

Adults need this information, too, she adds. She helped create a course called “Healthy Relationships on the Autism Spectrum” that teaches adults about abuse in romantic relationships, among other things.³

People with developmental conditions, including autism, face a greater risk of being the victim of a sexual offense than the general population, according to studies.^4-7 An analysis of 34 different studies found that 40 percent of autistic people were victims of sexual offenses.⁶

The Knowledge Gap Affecting Autistic Students

Students with disabilities are also less likely than their peers to learn about sex from parents⁵ ordoctors.⁸ As adults, autistic people have less knowledge about sex than other people.⁷

Like their peers, autistic youth may look for information online. What they often find is pornography, says autism sexuality advocate Amy Gravino, a relationship coach for autistic people through her business, A.S.C.O.T. (Autism Spectrum Coaching and Other Techniques) Consulting, and Rutgers Center for Adult Autism Services.

“A lot of autistic people learn about sex from porn, either because they’re not receiving information at school or from their parents. Porn is not reality. Sex is not porn, and porn is not sex,” says Gravino, a certified autism specialist and autistic participant in the SPARK study.

Will someone who is socially isolated, or who does not understand social nuances, know the difference? Perhaps not.

That is why advocates like Gravino say that autistic people should be taught more than just the basics that are taught in most schools that provide sex education. They also need to learn about dating and the social aspects of sexuality and relationships that are often not covered at school.

Those topics include “how do you know if someone likes you?” Gravino says. “How do you know if you’re ready to have sex? How do you know if somebody’s not interested anymore? All these things are just as crucial to know as the biological and anatomical information you get.”

Gravino has worked with autistic clients who have been taken advantage of in relationships. One man met a woman online who asked him to buy her things. He ended up deeply in debt. “That was the only way he knew how to get this affection and attention he wanted.”

“It’s heartbreaking,” she says. “People are not learning the things they need to learn, and what they are learning is often detrimental, if not outright harmful, to themselves or others.”

When surveyed about sex and relationship education, autistic adults were more likely to say that they wanted information about consent, gender identity, sexual orientation, and assertiveness than people who do not have autism, according to a study led by Eileen T. Crehan, Ph.D.⁹ Crehan, associate professor at UMass Chan Medical School, will discuss “Love and Autism: Building Connections in Affirming Ways” in a SPARK webinar on June 25, 2025.

Teaching Autistic People About Consent and Dating

Dating often involves neurotypical social nuances that may be harder for someone on the autism spectrum to decipher. It’s important to teach what is meant by consent, both to prevent youth from becoming the victims of abuse and coercion, and to prevent them from doing things that could get them in legal trouble.

Consent involves “how we say ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ but also how we hear ‘yes’ or ‘no,’” Crehan says. Youth should learn that if someone has turned them down for a date twice, they should not ask that person again, for example, she says.

Youth may also need help interpreting a non-response as well. “If someone ignores your text once, you can give them the benefit of the doubt. But if they ignore your text a second time, that actually means ‘no,’ even if they said nothing,” she explains.

Other research suggests that some autistic youth struggle to understand when to stop contacting a romantic interest, which could lead to accusations of stalking. Sex education programs for autistic youth should teach about privacy, reading body language and social cues, understanding another person’s point of view, and recognizing wanted and unwanted behavior, according to researchers at Touro University.¹⁰

What Can Parents Do to Help?

Of course, families can talk to their children about sex and healthy relationships.

Gravino and other advocates also urge parents to allow their children to receive sex education at school if permission is required.

Find out if your children are routinely missing sex education class so they can receive speech or other special education services.

If your child has a special education plan, ask teachers if sex education lessons will be modified to improve your child’s understanding of them. “Most of the time there is no special education support related to health education or sex education,” Crehan says.

One mother told Graham Holmes that she did not know if her son, who has autism and intellectual disability, received any sex education. The teenager had a school aide who adapted his lessons for him so he could understand them. That aide may have decided on her own that sex education was not appropriate for him, the mother told Graham Holmes.

Gravino, who frequently gives presentations to parents and professionals, says this topic can be scary for parents. But she encourages them to put fear aside so their children can get the information they need. “They need this knowledge. It’s about safety. It’s about being able to make choices. It’s about being able to navigate relationships and do what they need to be happy, fulfilled, and safe,” she says.

Interested in joining SPARK? Here’s what you should know.

Photo credit: iStock

References

1. Graham Holmes L. et al. Pediatrics 149, e2020049437T (2022) PubMed
2. Goldfarb E.S. and L.D. Lieberman J. Adolesc. Health 68, 13-27 (2021) PubMed
3. Graham Holmes L. et al. Am. J. Occup. Ther. 77, 7702185070 (2023) PubMed
4. Shapiro J. National Public Radio. The Sexual Assault Epidemic No One Talks About (2018). Accessed Jun. 16, 2025.
5. Graham Holmes L. and SIECUS. Report. Comprehensive Sex Education for Youth with Disabilities (2021). Accessed Jun. 16, 2025.
6. Trundle G. et al. Trauma Violence Abuse 24, 2282-2296 (2023) Full Article
7. Brown-Lavoie S.M. et al. J. Autism Dev. Disord. 44, 2185-2196 (2014) PubMed
8. Graham Holmes L. et al. J. Dev. Behav. Pediatr. 35, 172-178 (2014) PubMed
9. Crehan E.T. et al. Disabil. Health J. 16, 101466 (2023) PubMed
10. Post M. et al. J. Autism Dev. Disord. 44, 2698-2706 (2014) PubMed